Swells to bursting point

If you've ever heated a marshmallow in the microwave, you've seen the little, white ball swell up into a huge, balloon-like mass of stickiness.  It doesn't explode and splatter all over the turntable like spaghetti sauce does (doens't that just get your goat when you have to clean tiny specks of red off of your microwave all the time?), but it gets so big that you wonder how much heat it would take to make it explode.
That's how my heart gets when I think about someone I've never met.  I've been storing up affection for the lucky guy who I'll spend the rest of my life with, someday, and sometimes it almost makes me implode. 
Not that I don't use up my love on the people currently in my life, but there's something different about the mixture of pure sadness and happiness that inflates mi corazon when I think about that. 
I wonder if that's healthy?  It's probably not a good use of my time.  I could be thinking about when I need to go to bed tonight in order to get a sufficient amount of sleep before I have to leave the house at 6:50 to get to Bloomington at 7:30.  (yup, volleyball, you guessed it.)  I could be planning out in my head how much food I'll need to stay energized.  I should be making a mental list of all the things that have to be in my bag before I head out. 
But, no, I'm thinking about how much I love a guy that, for all I know, doesn't even exist.
That's kind of an interesting thought.  What if I'm meant to be single for my whole life?  It's possible.  Marriage isn't for everyone (which I've heard at least three times in the past few weeks.... something I don't hear often.  Is God telling me something?).  And I know that would be okay.  Because my satisfaction in life can't be reliant on a human being.  That's just not even a good idea.  If I could count all the times people here on earth have let me down I would be an overly trusting person.  God never, ever, ever, ever lets me down.  In fact, when other people do, he's the one reminding me of the lesson I learned so vividly this summer.  (If you don't remember, check out a post from June about the mission trip to Tennessee.  It's LOOONG)  HE is my source of life, hope, happiness, joy, peace, comfort, salvation, love, satisfaction, everything.  And until I can find my satisfaction completely in Him, not lacking anything, I'm going to be a needy girlfriend/spouse/stalker.  God is my everything.  Husband is bonus. 
I spent this Saturday night alone.  My parents left for a dinner at his boss's house at 5:30, and soon after, I - feeling very independent - left for the grocery store.  I bought butter, vanilla activia (wasn't on the list, but I bought it anyways!), organic broccoli, snow peas, and an orange vitamin water.  While browsing, I looked on the frozen entree aisle, in search of a meal for one gal, but then words from my mother came back to me, "you can make piccolini and cheese sauce if you want."  So I left all those processed, preservatized meals in the freezer, made my purchases, drove myself home while singing in the car quite loudly and obnoxiously, put a Switchfoot CD on when I got home, put away groceries, and made dinner for one.  Then I started an article for the school newspaper and watched an episode of Bones.  And I enjoyed it. 
All that to say that I would be fine being single, living alone.  I would probably thrive having an apartment in a city somewhere, (NYC, anybody? :) ) working with people all day in a newspaper/magazine office, and coming home to a cute, little, artsy loft.  (as long as there weren't too many dark corners and closets...  don't want to invite thieves, murderers, and rapists to attack me now) In fact, I hope that I have a few years on my own before Mr. Wonderful and I start our lives together.  I think it's so important to have your own identity in Christ before you add it to someone else's. 
It's like math.  You can't add 2x+5y if you don't know what "x" and "y" are.  It's just not possible.  (I seriously think that God planned out math so that it works out metaphorically with tons of situations.)
Those are my thoughts for the day, week, weekend.
Blessing I'm thankful for: the company of godly women who have lived more life than I have.  (I was going to say "older, godly women", but that makes it seem like I was visitng a nursing home or something... FAR FROM IT!)  I've had quite an influx of that these past couple days.  Between spending lots of time chatting with my mom and two ladies whom I admire quite a bit today and sitting in my former boss's car in my driveway for 20 minutes when she dropped me off, I'm a blessed gal.  The company of more experience women is so valuable, and I love having my mom for that, but she's just one woman with one woman's experiences.  I'm blessed to be able to have more than just her pouring into my life.
That's all for now, folks.  Those aforementioned lists are pressing on my brain.