If I could go on one date with anyone in the world it would be Clark Kent

honestly.  The boy is a stud.  Plus he can save me from mortal danger, and he has true character. 

Enough about that, I want to blog for REAL! 
I've been typing things out on my iPod recently since "my" macbook pro got taken by its rightful owner to its home.  And I have to say that it's not as much fun to blog on a touch screen.  Plus my iPod doesn't know a lot of words that I use...  I mean, they may not be real words, but if I want to use them, who is Apple to tell me I can't?? 
Tonight is one of those nights where I feel so tired that I think I need a boyfriend.  ridiculous, I know.
Something about lack of sleep and lack of boy joining together to make me feel that I'm not okay on my own.
well, duh, I knew that.
I am NOT okay on my own! 
That's why I have Jesus.
And Jesus has told me that I need to maintain close friendships with genuine people, that I need not be a groupie, that I must depend on him for my strength, life, hope, joy, love, and that I will be fine without a boy.  at least for awhile.
I have a lot of changing in my behavior to do to accomplish these things. 
You know how when you're feeling insecure you tend to try to be a groupie?  Well, I just realized that I don't want to be a groupie.  I don't want to be one of those people who needs to be laughing with someone to feel secure in myself.  I know that my friends love and care about me, and I know that Jesus loves me and has created me to be who I am: dependent on Him.
so that's one of the things I'm not going to do. 
Even if it means I do it alone.  I'm okay with walking to class by myself and being one who doesn't fraternize with people who are being less than genuine.  Not that I'm going to shun them, but I'm not going to take part.  I refuse to clique.  And yes, that is a verb :)
Another thing that's got to change is my attitude towards guys.  I find myself looking at each one I meet and gauging his husband-potential rather than if we'd make good friends.  seriously, Ashley?  that's gotta stop.  You know those people who have really great guy friends that they hang out with all the time and who give them advice about stuff and act like a brother?  I've always wanted an older brother, but since that's nearly impossible, I'd take a super close guy friend.  That's okay with me. 
i might even take two.  If that was an option.
Now this next thing that I'm not going to do is one that I don't do very happily: I'm not going to drink coffee.  I know that if I start I will drink it a few times a week........ at first.  then it'll snowball and I'll end up as addicted to caffiene as I was before. 
no coffee :(  Lord help me
And the last thing that I resolve to do with all of my heart is to depend on God.  Lord knows that I forget about this all the time until I'm at my wits end.  God, help me to depend on you through thick, thin, bright and sunny, dark, happy, sad, hormonal, ANYTHING!  Because with You at my side I am secure.  I am secure and totally on the right path.  When I walk with You, I walk where you want me to go. 
And THAT is the road I want to take.
Praise the Lord.