I miss my kids already. There's an ache in one of the chambers of my heart that longs for a chubby baby to hold or a toddler to whom to give more chicken fingers. Or a nine-year-old to tell me that I'm the zombie queen... so I'l never die!
And I miss my boss. As odd as that sounds. I first met Lisa three (maybe it was 4?) years ago in August. I have a neighbor whose backyard backs up to mine, and she knew that I babysat. So she passed my name on to Lisa. I remember getting the first call and being nervous to babysit for a new family. Now it's three years later, and that's my home away from home. And that's not really an exaggeration. I used to watch her kids like 3-5 times a month. And sometimes more. In the summers it would be a couple times a week. I knew where every dish went in her cupboards... except the tupperware... that I learned today. I knew all about what her husband did for a living. I talked with them for sometimes even a half an hour after they got home from a date. Then I'd realize that I should get home.... and that I was off the payroll.
sometimes when it was dark outside and Lias didn't want me to be mugged on my two block walk home she would walk me to my driveway. The walk takes less than 30 seconds when I do it alone. But sometimes that walk would be ten or fifteen minutes. We'd talk about everything. Something about her just invited me to share my hurts and struggles. And she ALWAYS had an empathetic ear. It was the kind of listening that isn't judgmental or even advising. She would just listen and sympathize. And share a story that often times would be eerily similar to what I was facing.
I began to think of her as a kind of aunt after a few months of watching her kids.
But over the years I've realized that she's more of a really wise friend.
She told me a few weeks ago that when I first started babysitting for her she told her friends, "I think I've found a fourteen year old who's more mature than me!" Which, of course wasn't the case. :) The fact that I was mentioned made me feel happy.
But now her son is old enough to watch her daughter by himself. Not for really long periods of time (they'll still need me for something!!), but for long enough that I'm going to get fewer calls. I'm going to miss them.
I've told her she's already on the guest list for my wedding. It's funny, when I think of kids who don't need me anymore and when I'll see them again, that's just the occasion that comes to mind!
I'm so grateful for Lisa in my life. sometimes you just need someone to listen and laugh with and go through hectic lunchtimes with who isn't related to you... but could be for all the things you have in common.
I miss them all already, even though they're just around the corner, I feel like this is the beginning of a separation. I'll get phased out of their lives... slowly, but surely. And pretty soon I won't see them at all, excepting the occasional glimpse from a car on the street. oh gosh, I hope that doesn't happen.
In the meantime, I thank God for the chance to have those people in my life. Each person in their family has played a part in making me the person I am today. Conversations with them, experiences, just who they are has made me think about who I am and who I want to be. I do that with everything, but since there are four of them, I suppose they're made a bigger dent in my heart.
I'll miss that family. And the daycare kids. I wonder if they'll remember me when they grow up? will I be just one of those faint memories that you almost think could be a dream? I hope not.
Lord, bless them, wherever they are, and wherever they are going.
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