one common root problem

I have noticed, in my many years of existence, that there are two or three common root problems to any character flaws.  The first is lack of Jesus.  That's obvious.  I mean, that affects your entire life: personality, outlook, behavior, decisions, activity... the whole shebangabang.  But that's not the one I want to rant about.  I think the two other major roots of awkwardness, passive aggression, self-centeredness, just plain meanness stem from either insecurity or immaturity.  If you look at those two words, at the prefixes, they are 'in' and 'im', which both indicate a lack of whatever word follows.  In these cases, there is a lack of security and maturity.  
I'd say those two are pretty important.
Confident people make the world go round.  not-confident people try to make it go round, but they lack the nerve to just reach out and spin the globe.  
And you can't just learn confidence overnight.  Your childhood, friends, the way people treat you in general determine how confident you are.  But I was reading in my deve book today,  (The One Year Worship the King Devotional, by Chris Tiegreen... I LOVE it!  such thought-provoking stuff to start my day with!) and it was talking about how the return of Jesus, or rather the anticipation should affect our lives.  Not that it must simply affect it, but that it should change the finality with which we live our lives.  So, back to the quote that really stuck with me: "Our lives will be shaped not by our past, as the psychologists insist, but by our FUTURE, as our GOD insists.  We will grow into the image He has given us."  I really liked that, because it takes away our excuses.
People frequently use their past hurts as an excuse for their current failings, rather than a springboard for why they want their future to be different.  I know I have.   And I know that hurts... hurt.  I mean, that's why they call them hurts and anguish and trauma.  But, when we decide to push those things aside and move on into the future to become the people God has decided we will be, we become stronger in Christ, which is where all strength comes from.  We become God-relyant, rather than self-relyant, and we learn those life lessons in following Him that you don't learn when you follow yourself.
If more people did that, we, as Christians, would be so much more secure and mature, fully depending on God for all of our needs.  We would have more of an impact on our world, because we would have let God make a true change in our lives that would be visible to the people around us.  
It's a daily surrender.  I used to hear people say that, and even regurgitate that, but I wouldn't understand why it was so important to daily let go of all control until I lost control... actually, I'm not sure I ever had control.  
It's another thing that goes back to maturity.  When we trust God to lead us, He brings us into tough situations that build our character and give us perseverance, but more importantly, we understand ourselves and gain experience that build up our foundation for maturity.  
With all this trust we're putting in Him, it's a wonderful thing that God is so faithful.